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Ever since coming to China, I’ve constantly been asked questions about Chinese people, and the most common question seems to be: are they trustworthy? I guess all of the faulty products that come out of China have left much of the rest of the world feeling jaded towards China and Chinese people. The short answer: Yes, they are trustworthy. They are simply misunderstood.
Chinese people don’t trust each other
China is a low trust society. People here are cautious to an extreme; they believe that around every corner is a thief and every deal has a catch. Most restaurants require you to pay before getting your meal. Chinese people, in extreme cases, avoid giving out their real name when meeting new people in fear of being slandered. Credit never caught on here (although it’s changing… slowly).
Chinese people have good reason not to trust each other. I tried to buy a new computer online not too long ago, but I ran into 4 scams in a row. Luckily I have protection against scammers, or else I would have been out quite a bit of money. My friend recently opened an online store, which was quickly hacked into and torn down. Now she pays for extra protection against hackers from the service she uses. Downloading nearly any Chinese application will come with piggyback programs that are a pain to delete. All taxis outside train stations here in Beijing will only bargain for the fare and refuse to use the meter, in which they will only accept 3-4x the meter price.
A better reason to not trust each other probably has to do with history. I won’t go in depth about this subject, but Chinese society has been built on Confucius ideas, which puts kinship above everything else. The most devastating thing to happen to China in terms of trust was probably the cultural revolution, in which the entire country was basically in chaos for years. If you stepped on the wrong persons toes, you might just disappear the next day. How’s that for a trust killer?
China is overpopulated and poor on the whole
China is a HUGE country, but it is also a poor and overpopulated country, minus the handful of people that drive imported cars and take vacations in Paris. When fresh college graduates average under $300 a month, imagine what the choices are for the rest of the population. Everyone is trying to get ahead, and doing so at the expense of others may be tempting for some people. When there are so many people in a country, competition for work and for business becomes dog-eat-dog: the taxi drivers band together to take more money from tourists and the middle class, and others hack websites and steal accounts.
The chances of getting caught scamming are slim to none when the-powers-that-be spend more time blocking Facebook than catching internet hackers… oh and also because China has over a billion people, with the vast majority crammed into a few key cities; there is a needle somewhere in that haystack.
The average person does not scam, but many still spread rumors
These are strangers scamming strangers and the average person does not run a scam. Many people automatically assume that Chinese people are out to scam you. This is just faulty logic. While there may be more people in China running scams, it doesn’t mean that the average person, or even close to the average person runs a scam. This logic would make more sense if headlines constantly read “Wangpeng steals money from best friend”, and “Liyou stabs family member in the back” – this just doesn’t happen. Instead, most people try to stay as far away from scams as they possibly can, and so put up many barriers.
What’s just as dangerous to a person’s daily life is rumor.
Chinese relationships are complicated
Chinese society is complicated. There are many rules to follow in social engagements, and you have to carefully choose your words when speaking to people of varying statuses. Relationships are incredibly important; with so much competition and few laws to protect your job – your reputation becomes the most important lifeline you have. Finding a new job in China is nearly impossible without knowing somebody – heck, even the job I’m at now I got through a friend – so carefully crafting relationships becomes an obsession, and any chance of harming that reputation is unacceptable. This fear was amplified during and after the cultural revolution.
Gossip and rumors can harm reputations, which can then affect the ability to make a living. It can take a lot of effort to repair a reputation, and Chinese people know this, so they take extra care with who they associate with, and who they tell things to.
Some people use rumor to make their way up company ladders. They use rumor and gossip to their advantage, and they can be very damaging. In China rumor spreads like wildfire, so the ability to keep any potentially damaging information away from the ears of potential gossipers is an important skill.
Beating you means the difference between wealth and poverty
Did I mention that there are a lot of people in China? Not everyone has a chance to get a college degree, and there aren’t enough resources for everyone to be well off in society (at least not yet). If you are second in your high school graduating class, that often spells the difference between a top tier university and a third tier one, and when top tier university graduates are making $300 a month, you don’t want to be a third tier university graduate. Unfriendly competition is learned at an early age as parents understand that being number 1 is all that matters. This mindset carries over to the rest of their lives: if you’re not my friend or family, you’re competition.
Not everyone views the world as 0-sum this way, and most people stop competing when they hit the workforce, but it’s important to realize that the underlying mindset is not that everyone is equal and deserves equal treatement, but rather that life is unfair and you need to look out for yourself.
Conclusion: it simply takes a lot more to earn a Chinese person’s trust
People in China always have their defenses up when meeting new people, which makes sense given the hostile environment described above: “is this person out to get something from me?” is a first reaction. It takes time and effort to break through the defenses and become real friends. Once you do, it is definitely worth it. Break past the armor and see Chinese people for who they really are and you will be surprised at what you find.
Chinese people are just like you and me, except friendship means even more to them than it probably means to us. Friendship and family means safety, which is something that those in more affluent societies take for granted. Friendship is hard to come by, so when they get it they hold on tight.
I have many long-lasting friendships with Chinese people, all of which have been great. You have to get past the hard shell to get to the soft interior.
When you really get to know people – meaning their culture, their language, their economic situation, where they grew up, etc – you’ll find that we are all the same.
For those who are worried about being scammed/ripped off
You should be, but it doesn’t mean that you should avoid Chinese people altogether – that makes no sense. Instead, when in China – do as the Chinese do. Take your time to get to know people, and ask a thousand questions and for a thousand verifications before you purchase anything. You’ll probably have to “learn your lesson” a few times before you finally get the hang of things, but that’s the same in any new place.
Final Note
This is a very complicated subject, and I’m sure there have been many books written on it. I hope this gives people an overview of trust in Chinese society, that you can trust people and they will trust you, but it just takes a bit longer with most Chinese people, although it is changing and they are more open with westerners. The reasons behind the trust issues are extremely complicated so I may go into them more in another post. You don’t have to worry about that as a newbie to China – just know that Chinese people are great, it just takes a while for them to warm up, and be careful when buying things.
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